Sigh. Today I am back at writing my screenplay after a month long break, thus I am experiencing all the usual frustrations. Dammit! I always feel this way, like I have to work through all my anxieties and bullshit towards writing all over again: This is stupid, I’m not a good writer, No one will want to read this, How do I even do this?
The answer is to not take so long a break, to never take a break really. But projects that seemed more pressing took precedence–make this website, shoot my short film “Loop Holes,” write and perform the Delusions of Glamour Stage Show.
But this is my eternal problem towards writing. To be a writer, you have to write. Sounds insanely obvious, but it’s all to easy to spend a lot of time talking about writing, reading about writing, writing your ideas down, but not actually doing the writing.
I’ll be okay after a few days, a few days of sorting through my fears, pumping myself up that my ideas are good, my execution shall suffice, my endurance will prevail. And then there will be those magical moments, when just the right word comes out of me, a perfect character detail will occur to me, and I’ll feel back in the flow and all is right in the universe. Basically, I’ll feel like a writer again, and thus, I’ll feel like me.