Welcome to my blog! This moment has been a long time coming. I’ve been fiddling with the idea of writing a blog, I mean really and truly being a blogger, for about a few years now. Two things have kept me from starting:
1. A fear of sharing my thoughts with the world.
I have this weird paradox–on one hand, I want the world to know who I am. I know in my heart I’m not the type of writer and actor who creates solely for the pleasure of doing it. I do it to share in a moment with another person, and hopefully make them smile. On the other hand–I am intensely private and want to remain an observer. To be “observed”…will it mean I can no longer drink in the details of life around me in a veil of anonominity, snatch snippets of conversation and steal character details for future use? I also just have a plain old fashioned fear of being judged. Which takes me to numero dos:
2. A fear of buying into the Twitter/status update/blog delusion that others actually want to know what I’m thinking, doing, feeling.
But then I’m like…well, hell; in college, I wrote a blog while studying in Spain as a way to keep the peeps back home in the loop on my comings and goings. It was easy, and it was incredibly fun. And upon further examination, I realized that blog was the first long-term commitment I’ve kept to writing. I wrote regularly for six months–usually while drinking cafe con leche in cafes or hiding from my scary Spanish roommates in my apartment. Having regular writing sessions was glorious, and eventually the blog stopped being for the people back home and started being for me. I played around with word choice, storytelling style, and describing the characters I met. A certain voice, a style, unique to me, emerged.
Sooo…these are all positive revelations, right? And the blog format is a good challenge. Posts don’t have to be perfect, it’s a blog–a good lesson for any perfectionist writer. So, I’m getting past the fear of appearing self-obsessed. It’s the year 2010. We’re all egomaniacs. However, I do promise to try and write in a more narrative style than “OMG, just ate the best bagel ever!”
Did you notice that the word “fear” appear in both reasons I haven’t started a blog? Now, that’s no way to live!
Life is scary enough. I don’t want to have fear in my writing. Writing is my sanctuary. The only thing that always makes sense. (In the voice of the kid in the infomercial in “Donnie Darko”) I’M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE!
On with the blog!
This blog will also be a part of my writer identity, the only job I’ve ever been serious about. With that in mind, I’ve been thinking about all the random, strange, silly jobs I’ve held to pay the bills as I write my body of work.
Here’s a short list, and I invite anyone who reads this to respond with their own List of Random Jobs.
List of Random Jobs I’ve Held:
- Instructional magician video studio audience member.
- Toilet paper promotional model.
- Miniature remote controlled flying helicopter demonstrator.
- Body painting model.
- Nightclub promoter.
- Mexican yogurt sampler at grocery store convention.
- Chewing tobacco promotional model.
- Button hander-outer at insurance sales convention.
- Go-go dancer at National Teacher’s Convention.
- Guitar Hero demonstrator.
- Free novel distributor.
- Movie extra.
- Top Gun pilot convention bartender.
- Godard art gallery bartender.
- Explainer of new policies at oil convention.
- Intel chip demonstrator at technology convention.
- Alpaca fur runway model.
- Showgirl (rhinestone headdress and all).
And many, many more random jobs and short-term vocations…as I remember them (the ones I haven’t blocked from my memory), I will add to the list.
Thanks for reading this, my first blog post. Here’s to many more!